breast cancer saved my life...

probably not the most sensitive title i've ever attached to a post but in many ways true...minus the whole cancer thing, and having breasts...whatever. anyway, after a sorority sponsored event on thursday night to raise money for breast cancer i found myself in an unpleasant situation reminiscent of my early days of puberty and the night i met my first girlfriends dad. the difference was, instead of being told to keep my dick in my pants i was being accused of driving drunk and was forced to administer balance tests as if i was trying out for the fucn circus. while these events may seem different, in both i found myself totally embarassed in front of a new girl and fearing for my life...hence the odd comparison. i wont give the blow-by-blow but i will say that while under extreme stress i found myself constantly referring to the breast cancer event i had just attended and my admiration for the Y-Me breast cancer organization...desperate times call for desperate measures. anyway, i'm happy to say that after mastering my balancing act i passed the breathalysers with a 0.07! (legally drunk = 0.08...isn't that some bullshit!). i was so happy i almost shit myself. so...the moral of the story is, when u go to a breast cancer event with a pretty girl (...and friends), 1) keep it to one drink, 2) turn on your fucn headlights when you leave the parking structure, and 3) keep your dick in your pants...metaphorically of course.